Dear Courtney

I’ve decided to write a letter to my ex because it seems like this is the only way she’ll listen since she seems to be ignoring me now, so here it goes:

Dear Courtney,

            I wish I could go back to when I met you, to when I fell for you….and run away.  I don’t know if your life would’ve been any better without me in it, I hope that it wouldn’t have, but part of me thinks that you’d be better off if we didn’t date.  And although the journey was something I’ll never regret; it’s the ending that I regret happening.  I don’t know if there’s something differently I could’ve done to keep us together, but I just wish that it didn’t end like this.

 You know that I always loved you with everything I had.  I listened when you needed it, I didn’t judge you for your past, nor did I ever stop loving you.  Even to this very day, my heart beats for you; you’re the only person that I want, but I realize that you aren’t coming back so I unfortunately have to move on.  Even if I start seeing other people, they’ll never match my love I have for you; no one will ever be like you, you're the best person that entered my life which is why this has been hard on me.  I do wish you and your girlfriend the best of luck though, and I hope she treats you right because you deserve to have the best; I’m just sorry I wasn’t that person.

 I put your picture back up in my room though because when I look at it, it makes me smile and realize how lucky I was to have you; to finally have someone who could lift the sadness from my shoulders.  You were my hero; my love.  I was never able to sleep well, but I still have nightmares, except they’re about you now.  And I just want a good night’s sleep instead of lying in bed thinking about you; wondering what you’re doing or what you’re thinking.

 I know I hurt you though, that I was jealous when you were with other people, or mad when you weren’t returning any of my texts.  I was selfish and I shouldn’t have been.  I know I’ve already spilled my heart out to you, but….i’m just bad at explaining myself, at explaining my feelings.  And I know it’s weird to say this, but I miss your voice, your beautiful face, so I watch your sisters YouTube video’s with you in them and they make me laugh and remember how amazing you are.  I have so many more things to say, it’s just that I don’t know how to say them, but the only thing that matters is that I love you and I can’t live without you, i'm nothing without you, even if we’re just friends, it's better than nothing…please talk to me Court.

Love, Bev