Psychiatrist: My Reason Why

Failure after failure, tear after tear, cut after cut nothing seemed to be going right.  Never in my mind did I think that things could get better just the slightest, yet they did.  I may not be where I’m trying to get to, but I’m closer now than I was before.  Every day was a struggle to continue; a struggle to get a grip on a tiny fraction of happiness, but I never found it for quite some time.  Every night I went to bed wishing that I wouldn’t awaken in the morning but when the sun came up, my eyes would open and I was left with questions.  Why am I still here?  What is the reason that I’m here breathing a breath that I feel like I don’t deserved?  How could God create someone like me:  someone who thinks about death constantly, one who’s attracted to the same gender, a person that doesn’t enjoy life or anything it has to offer….why did he do it?  But when my life reached its lowest point, I looked more to the Lord for answers, for forgiveness; for happiness.  That’s when I met a psychiatrist whose name is David.  Although he didn’t do much, he brought me to my starting point of healing, he helped and cared about my well-being, and for that, I am grateful.  He didn’t give up on me even when I felt like giving up on him, giving up on the world.  He listened and helped as much as I would let him; he also inspired me.  I use to want to be a marine biologist.  I loved swimming, interacting with animals, and I was interested in the subject matter, but then I changed my mind…I wanted to become a psychiatrist.  No one really understood why I suddenly decided to change my dreams but that’s because they never asked me directly, so I never told anyone.  I previously said that David had inspired me and he is the reason why I want to go into this field of work.  I’ve always been good at helping friends with their problems, even people I’m not friends with; people just refer others to me.  Sometimes I thought that it was kind of creepy but I’ve come to realize that it’s not creepy, it’s actually an honor; something to be proud of.  I’ve come to love people asking me for help or advice and I feel it’s necessary to help relinquish the issues others face.  I feel like a person who has gone through something similar to another person has the ability to help them better than anyone else.  I would like to work with teenagers who are depressed, self-mutilated themselves, or who have eating disorders because those are the things that I’ve gone through and I feel as if I’d be an excellent person for someone in need to come to.  I want to help others like David helped me:  I want to be able to make a person in so much pain from depression smile, to save someone’s life and be their hero, and most importantly, I want to be someone who makes a difference in the world.  That readers, is why I feel the need to become a psychiatrist